The Vengabus Timetable

Warning! This is old. It was last updated in 2013 and may be obsolete, outdated, unsafe or just embarrassing. Treat with caution.

Here's how I made it, plus some advice on what to do if something you've made goes viral.

A photo of a Transport for London timetable on a bus stop, edited to be for the Vengabus.
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I tweeted this picture, and then it went around quite a bit of the web. It got picked up by the Poke, Time Out, @LDN and even the Daily Mirror.

Just so we're clear: I made it, with computer trickery. Here are the gory details.

How was it made?

I didn't bother to actually print a timetable; it's all done in Photoshop.

It took me half an hour to find a suitable bus stop to photograph! I wanted a road behind it, neutral lighting, and nothing reflected in the glossy front panel.

Now I had the neutral shot, I used Photoshop's perspective crop tool to pull the original timetable.

The timetable, cropped and straightened.

Then a few minutes with Photoshop's Content-Aware Fill gave me a blank template to work from.

A blank template.

The font is what really sells the joke. It's Transport for London's official font, New Johnston. I'm not really supposed to have a copy, but TfL's new beta site uses it as a web font, utterly unobfuscated. Thanks, anonymous web designer!

As a comparison, here's a section of the timetable rendered in the ‘public’ version of Johnston: it's just plain wrong.

Part of the timetable, rendered in the wrong font.

So then it was just a matter of writing a load of Vengaboys jokes. And that wasn't too difficult: I know far too many of their songs.

Finally, I added a slight monochromatic noise filter to all the text in the image, so it'd look like it was in the original photo. Then I pasted the finished timetable back where it came from, and since it's based on the original image, it fitted exactly.

It's good enough to have fooled at least one picture editor!

Side note: the aircraft and rocket-ship symbols on the final version are actually text. They're Unicode characters rendered in Microsoft's surprisingly tasteful Segoe UI Symbol font, which has lots of dingbats and Emoji in calm monochrome — unlike Apple's rather more colourful efforts.

Why did it work?

I've often professed — on stage, no less — that there's no way that you can predict what will go viral. Things that you think are brilliant may sink without a trace; cheap one-off jokes may become massive.

That said, I had a good feeling about this for a few reasons:

Dealing with ‘going viral’

1,134 retweets; 337 favorites.

It's always nice when something takes off! It's not the biggest thing I've done online, not by a long way, but for a cheap Photoshop gag, it's done respectably well.

If you find a thing you've made going massive, here are a few tips:

Be nice to people

Handling accreditation

Beware of the moochers

Going viral for the wrong reasons